JFK Jr. returns to tell QAnon fans what they need to hear
Nothing is what it seems. Except something really obvious.
JFK Jr. sat quietly in the green room. It had been such a long road to get here. But it was time. He could finally come clean to the world about how he had faked the deaths of himself and his wife Carolyn. He would leave out the part about murdering Carolyn’s sister Lauren out of fear that she’d talk, but literally no one ever asked about her anyway.
But there was so much more.
Kennedy, Jr. felt a familiar hand on his shoulder.
“Hey dad,” he said.
After John F. Kennedy had faked his own death in Dallas all those years ago, a plan had formed in little John-John’s mind. He would go into hiding along with his dad. They would stay away as long as they needed. They would stay away until the world was ready for the truth.
“You’re doing good, son,” JFK said. They both sat quietly for a moment.
“BRAAAAAAALLLL!!!!!!!!!! BRAAAAAKKK!!!!” said Bigfoot.
“Thanks, Bigfoot. You’ve always been there for us. This is your time, as well,” said JFK Jr.
“BLLEERRRDDDD!!!” said Bigfoot, giving JFK Sr. a chuckle.
There was a knock at the door.
“It’s time, guys. Let’s do this,” said Amelia Earhart.
JFK Jr. took a deep breath. Could he really do this? Could he tell all these people here at AT&T Discovery Plaza in downtown Dallas the truth? Was he really ready? Were they really ready? His father seemed to understand his doubts.
“You’re ready, son,” JFK said in his faded Boston accent. “This is our time.”
When the JFK Jr., JFK and Bigfoot came to the stage, the crowd went crazy. The applause lasted for 14 minutes. More than 10,000 Americans standing and yelling for their heroes, knowing they were about to hear “The Plan.”
Stepping up to the microphone, JFK Jr. started to speak.
“Hello, everyone, it’ me, John F. Kennedy, Jr. You were right all along. I’m alive and well,” he said. The crowd again lost its mind. They knew now for sure that they were present for the most important event in the history of the world.
“And here’s my dad, President John F. Kennedy!” he said. The crowd again erupted and you could here murmurs of people commenting how good the former President looked.
“Braaaaaaaallllkkkkk!!!!!” said Bigfoot.
“Oh, yeah. And here’s Bigfoot!” said JFK, Jr. Again the crowd erupted and again you could here the murmurs of people saying commenting how good the formerly mythical forest monster looked.
When the crowd finally settled down. JFK, Jr. got to the heart of the matter.
“My friends, I am here to tell you all the truth!” said JFK, Jr. to the raucous group. “First, as you can see, there is a Bigfoot. Also, the moon landing was actually a hoax!”
The crowd went insane.
“Also, 9/11 was an inside job!” shouted JFK, Jr.
The crowd could barely contain itself. You could hear them from a mile away.
“Also, the Earth is flat!”
The crowd cheered, not quite as loudly, but still energetically.
“I told you!!!” shouted Kyrie Irving from the front row.
“Finally, let me tell you what you came here for!” said JFK, Jr., feeling the moment. “I’ve known Donald Trump for years!”
Many in the crowd literally wet themselves, the thrill was so immense. They waited on his next words.
“Donald J. Trump is an idiot!” shouted JFK, Jr.
Silence.
“Seriously, what have you been watching all this time,” said JFK, Jr. “The man is a moron. He’s a grifter and he’s not going to try to help anyone but himself. Also, Q is just some douchebag from Jersey who doesn’t know a damned thing about anything except how to dupe you, which he’s done well.”
The crowd was angry now. And started shouting curses at JFK Jr., his father and Bigfoot.
“BREEEEEEEPPPPPPP!!!” shouted Bigfoot.
“Finally, get vaccinated, you horrible, stupid people. For God’s sake, what is wrong with you, you selfish lunatics? We get a vaccine for a plague in record time, it works and you think it’s a plot? Get a grip,” JFK, Jr. said.
JFK, Jr. took a deep breath.
“But the Earth is flat. Crazy right?” he said.
“BLEEPPPPPP,” said Bigfoot as the three left the stage, and returned to hiding, where they would wait for the next time the world needed them.
--WKW