I’VE NEVER BEEN TO ME
Screenplay
By
William K. Wolfrum
FADE IN: ON LADY
She is a bespectacled LADY in her early 30s, her brown curly hair is disheveled and her clothes border on frumpy. In the stroller she is pushing is her BABY. The BABY is six months old and is crying loudly. They are on a busy San Francisco street full of shops and pedestrians. The LADY has tried to comfort her BABY but is not having success. Standing in front of a shoe store, the LADY puts her hand over her face and begins to cry. A WOMAN approaches and speaks:
WOMAN
Hey lady.
The LADY looks up from the stroller, confused. Her eyes catch the WOMAN who is now closer to her. The WOMAN is tall with long red hair that is very disheveled. She is wearing a long gown that was once beautiful but is now old and tattered. On her feet are heeled shoes, but one shoe is missing the heel, causing the Woman to limp as she approaches the Lady. The WOMAN is 70 years of age or older. The WOMAN speaks again:
WOMAN
You, lady. Cursing at your life.
The LADY looks very confused.
LADY
Excuse me?
WOMAN
You’re a discontented mother and a regimented wife.
The LADY looks even more confused and a touch irritated as she turns to the WOMAN.
LADY
I’m sorry, but …
The WOMAN interrupts.
WOMAN
I've no doubt You dream about the things you'll never do But I wish someone had a talk to me like I wanna talk to you.
The LADY stares at the woman with a look like she is wondering what the hell is happening. The BABY stops crying.
LADY
Errr …
The WOMAN continues, arms akimbo.
WOMAN
Ooh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run …
The LADY interrupts.
LADY
We’re in California …
The WOMAN, undeterred, continues.
WOMAN
Took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun.
The LADY’S jaw drops.
LADY
You fucked a preacher? Wait, what?
The WOMAN ignores her and continues.
WOMAN
But I ran out of places and friendly faces Because I had to be free.
The LADY and the WOMAN are both quiet for a moment, staring at each other. The BABY falls asleep.
WOMAN
I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.
The LADY begins to walk away pushing her stroller, waking the BABY who again begins to cry.
LADY
I’m sorry but I’ve got to go, have a great day.
The WOMAN chases down the LADY and grabs her by the shoulder.
WOMAN
Please lady, please lady!
The LADY begins to react angrily.
LADY
You need to leave me alone!
The WOMAN refuses to stop. Her arms are flailing wildly.
WOMAN
Don’t just walk away! Because I have this need to tell you why I’m all alone today. I can see so much of me still living in your eyes! Won’t you share a part of this weary heart that has lived a million lives?
The LADY sighs deeply.
LADY
Ok. Go on.
WOMAN
I've been to Nice and the Isle of Greece, when I sipped champagne on a yacht.
The WOMAN is circling the LADY now and stops to shake her bosom.
WOMAN
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo And showed them what I've got.
The LADY looks mesmerized yet fearful. The BABY is now staring at the WOMAN, as well, also fearful and mesmerized.
WOMAN
I’ve been undressed by kings and I’ve seen some things that a woman ain’t supposed to see.
The LADY looks skeptical.
LADY
Ok, seriously?
WOMAN
I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.
The LADY shakes her head and takes her baby out of the stroller for safety. Holding the baby she again begins to leave. The WOMAN again grabs her shoulder.
WOMAN
Hey, you know what paradise is?
LADY
Go ahead, tell me.
WOMAN
It's a lie. A fantasy we created about people and places. As we like them to be. But you know what truth is?
The LADY is exasperated.
LADY
What? What is truth?
WOMAN
It's that little baby you're holding. And it's that man you fought with this morning. The same one you are gonna make love to tonight. That's truth that's love.
The LADY is angry now and pokes the WOMAN in the chest.
LADY
You don’t know me. What is wrong with …
The WOMAN interrupts and begins twirling.
WOMAN
Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete. But I, I took the sweet life I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet.
The LADY looks flummoxed.
LADY
What unborn children? Is this about you having an abortion or something?
WOMAN
I spent my life exploring the subtle whoring …
LADY
Subtle whoring? Listen, I have a baby here …
WOMAN
The subtle whoring that costs too much to be free. Hey lady I've been to paradise But I've never been to me.
LADY
Ok, really, please leave me alone.
The WOMAN grabs her forcefully. The LADY reacts to the heavy scent of alcohol on her breath.
WOMAN
I've been to paradise - never been to me!
The LADY, still holding the baby begins to panic.
LADY
Someone help me!
A COP shows up and grabs the WOMAN.
COP
Ok, Charlene. That’s enough. I’m going to take you in and let you sleep this off.
The COP slowly takes CHARLENE by the shoulder to lead her away. Charlene is now very agitated.
CHARLENE
Never been to me!!!
The COP turns toward the LADY.
COP
Listen, I’m sorry ma’am. This is Charlene. She’s lived on this street for decades now. Did she tell you about the time she fucked a king.
The LADY and her BABY are staring blankly.
LADY
Um, yeah.
CHARLENE continues to fight the COP.
CHARLENE
I’ve been to paradise!!
The COP turns away from the LADY and her BABY and takes CHARLENE to his police car. CHARLENE is now sobbing.
COP
Sorry for the disturbance, ma’am. I’ll take care of her. We always do.
CHARLENE
Never been to me!
FADE OUT
THE END
CREDITS